When I came to this continent, Blizzard was my first friend.
Trust me, I have cried with it and laughed with it.
The name is quite deceiving, but no matter what you call the dessert, it can never go wrong.
You can trust it till your last bite.
Unlike humans, some people are deserved to be called losers but I dont know why people still call them something else.
Presenting this chocolate covered strawberry flavored piece of heaven from the country where dairy is queen!
Self realizations are amusing to me. Especially the ones that make me understand the relation between the technicality of life to the philosophy of society.
Everybody says that life is full of ups and downs. Being an engineer, for me, life is a sine wave. Highly predictable, and I can make any other wave out of it, cosine, tangent or secant.
Around noon, while working on my dissertation, I understood the distribution, the distribution of life. And like most of the data, my life’s data follows a gaussian distribution. And every stage of my life has the curve on which I climbed up and sloped down
Just like the Neapolitan candy bar! I start from the strawberry side because it is the flavor I don’t like, just like the flavor of starting college, work, or any project. It is slow and tedious just like the
start of a mountain trek. The high is vanilla, neutral, peace making and generous. The slow down is chocolate, because it proclaims the happiness of an achieved goal. It shows the finish line.
So, I am just on the 25 percentile of the curve. I still have my vanilla and chocolate to come.
I sat by the window, staring at the snow so white,
When will the light come, when will the sun shine so bright?
The clouds laugh at me again, says not by a long sight,
The wind will change its course again, only when he might.
I was never frightened of the changes, not until it happened to me. It is not the change that scares me, its the stage between the two changes. Like, you know something drastic is going to happen and you are not even over your current phase.
So, it all started when 2 years back I came to a different continent in thirst of knowledge. And today, when I am literally 2 inches away from my milestone I feel lost. I am lost in my own thoughts of why I came here and what am I doing. I am in those in-between phases where one side is the college, student, test assignment phase and other side lies moving out, job, work and career phase. Will I go to the city I like? Will i get what i desire? Will I be good?
How I wish I could see the future!
Exactly what I thought when i took a bite of this egg muffin at a nearby restaurant.
It was so much wrong use of egg I cant explain! Disaster would taste like that I thought!
Is it because the muffin was really so bad? Or is it the change of savoring egg as a dessert?
“Every girl has a best friend, boyfriend and true love. She is really lucky if they’re all the same person.”
Don’t fall for these words like I did. All three in one is a recipe of total disaster.
I learnt this after a few years of going through the trauma of love.
Love was never about taking for me. It was always about being happy and giving my 100 percent. Happiness from bunking lectures for movies to enjoying sophisticated Japanese dinner. The ice-cream cones, message tones and late night phones, everything about him brought a smile.
The best part was growing up together. There were phases when I wanted to be philosophical and he would say, cool, all done? lets go eat. I accepted the title of over-thinker, I still believe that I am one. And I also believed in those three words followed at the end of conversations, added wherever needed, said whenever there is loss of words.
But do we agree on everything? No way. We fight like crazy for every little thing, like kids, from menu to birthday gifts. And those fights used to end up in another fight and silly jokes and rolls of laughter.
I don’t know when it turned the other way. The laughter became joke, one fight and another.
And now I stare at these chocolates. All different, not all my favorite but still chocolates. Not all the time we will agree, not all moments are going to be my favorite but still they are mine. And I am not going to lose him. Because if I lose him, I lose my best friend, boyfriend and true love.
Half full > Half empty
I read this equation on a glass of aerated drink and think how can something little known be greater than nothing known?
I am half learned, but the world accepts me to be full experienced.
For example: Job posting for recent graduate, requires blah blah blah and 3 to 4 years of experience.
I am sure half full is not enough here.
It is one of those situation when I end up saying, the world is a greedy place to live in.
When the glass is empty, it wants more and more to make it half full.
When a professional seeks employment, it wants more and more of experience.
But then I looked at this tray of red velvet cupcakes. All lined up, neat and tidy.
I ate one and another and another. I wanted more and more of it too.
Because I am my world. And I am greedy.
I, now, understand that if I want to take more I should give more too.
And yes, from this moment, I agree, Half full is really greater than half empty.
So today at a party, I was unexpectedly served this dessert.
Jalebi, an Indian sweet, an amazingly awesome batter made of something and something fried and drenched in liquid sugar.
How do you react when you are unbelievably surprised?
My reaction is poor than the poorest and it is due to lack of practice.
Although few, surprises are like Jalebi to me. They require immense precision and patience to get the perfection. But the fewer the better or otherwise?
Like I say, making jalebi is an art. To carve those perfect twists and turns and still keep it bonded together, is what sets it apart. I want to be a great artist. Surprises or no surprises. Drenched in sugar.
A little more.
Let me take one more bite and then I will be all done. Okay, one tiny bite more.
I am never satisfied with that. And the tiny bites continue till the sundae is all gone.
But I am not greedy. I can really stop if I want to, only if I knew when to.
Assuming that life is a cake, I continue to take tiny bites everyday. More daringly than ever.
Asking for even more than ever. More happiness, more family and more love.
And when something goes out of balance?
I curse myself. More than ever.
Wish I would have studied more, loved my family more, earned more.
There was this time when I was upset about everything I couldn’t do, irritated on everything that I didn’t do.
And then I stopped. I fed myself the truth that I am not going to get everything even if I do all the thing. I absorbed the term ‘satisfaction’, satisfaction of what I have and satisfaction of what I achieved. But at the same time, I also believed in my capabilities to achieve greater heights.
Now I know I could have done more with myself, but I also know that I am going to start it today and not regret about yesterday.
I am a dreamer, I dream of high expectations and achieve higher goals and thats how I coat it with sugar!
Scene 1 : Family members ask for different icecream flavors.
Scene 2 : Family members ask for different decisions on a situation.
While Scene 1 does not cause any severe harm, it is agreed upon as variety on the table, fancily called ‘Platter’.
Scene 2 is more generally termed as argument. It leaves behind terror, grudges and heartbreaks. Why?
As a teen, I did not have many friends and I was not part of any heartbreak. In my twenties, I faced my first such situation, and it had everything that I had missed. Few other friends were cornering one other friend because some other friend believed that the cornered friend said something crummy to some other friend. I sat in one corner listening to all the decisions people demanded. I believed in none so I sided none.
Although the incident is long forgotten by everyone, it taught me to look beyond my perception and respect everyone’s space. When this is so simple why do we complicate things by holding grudges?
When my parents advise me otherwise, I believe in their thoughts and experiences and their unconditional love for me. I understand. When my friends dont agree with me, I respect their decision and understand. In arguments of high complexity, I take one moment backwards and understand. Because in ice creams, we dont coat it with sugar!
It took three years to absorb the thought of writing, two months to think on it, four days to collect it all, few hours to write the first post and one sleepless night to publish it.
What happened all this while? My life still moved on. I still ate, dance and slept.
What you can do today can also be done tomorrow is what my best friend taught me. Just that doing it today would give room for better things tomorrow, I would argue. However, now I feel I should have paused a little, slowed down a little, looked around a little.
Just like when you bake a molten lava cake. You mix it, let it rise, cool down and add the topping, all at a very careful pace.
I did not do that. I was so slow that I let it overcook by minutes. And it was ruined. But what if I was faster and quicker and did more then I actually did. Would that make more memories, more love and more laughs? A little more coating of sugar?
With that thought I ran faster just like I try to eat this cake before the molten chocolate touches the plate. I did everything with that pace, quick bath to quick laugh. Did it work? No. I was hungry but the lunch was not ready, I cried but we did not part ways yet.
So, I learned that it is not me who control the pace of life. People around me does. My family and friends will give me memories only when they want to, irrespective of me being ready or not. Now,I let the life be. I dont question it so much. I just enjoy my desserts and coat them with sugar!
Life is short, only if you want it to be.
Cribbing, being sad, crying, stomping, nothing helps. But, smiling and letting the time heal always makes it easier.
I didn’t say all of it! I was at the listening end, when my sister taught me this. At the age of 22, I left home for work. To pursue a career I rejected in a year. Since then I have been a on and off housemate yet a strong family member. It was that moment when you feel nothing is worth leaving home. I felt life is going to end if I dont succeed and that my failure is forever.
But eventually, nothing of it stayed. The only thing that remained is this picture of caramel custard that I always shared with my sister. I took the bite and I was still upset and sad, but as the seconds went by, the custard melted away leaving behind the sweet taste and a smile.
I am still away from home, still crying, cribbing, stomping, but about other things. Not my failures. I have coated them with sugar!
CoatItWithSugar 